Adoption Thoughts

Adoption has really been on my mind lately.  Every morning I wake up hoping to find an email from a prospective birth mother.  When there is none I go on with my day hoping that maybe tomorrow will be the day. I think that adoption has been a lot more on my mind lately because I am working on our scrapbook right now and I just got to Kyle's birth (okay okay just a little behind.)  Also I have been compiling a few of Kyle's birth mother's email to put in the scrapbook for Kyle to see how she found us.  Because of all of this it is making adoption constantly on my mind.  It is so hard waiting for our next child.  Just hoping and praying that our birth mother will email us.  Since we were approved for adoption last December we have had three contacts.  Two through our parent profile and one through our LDS profile.  The first one we got the email at Christmas time and we were in Utah.  She was from New York but that was all we knew about her.  Ben and I emailed her back and then never heard back from her.  She left a phone number so we thought maybe she wanted a call instead so we called her and there was no answer.  We left a message and never heard back from her.  The next email we got was in January.  This girl was from Washington.  Ben and I emailed her and then heard back from her.  We were so excited!  We emailed her back again and then we never heard back from her again.  The third birth mother contacted us in February.  She contacted us through the LDS website so this was a little different.  We emailed her back that night but the email has to go through our agency and then to her to keep her privacy.  We never heard back from her.  We emailed again just to be sure she got it and still no answer.  A few weeks later our agency contacted us and said that they were afraid that her inbox was full and she wasn't getting the emails.  So we emailed her a third time and still nothing back. I can't even tell you how many emails we have received from prospective birth mothers telling us how wonderful we are and that we are at the top of their list and then we never hear back from them.  Now I know you are asking yourself, "Wow is it something they are saying in their emails?  Are they acting too desperate?"  I asked myself this too, but I know that that is not the case.  We have been through this enough times to know that this is very common.  There are so many prospective adoptive couples who go through the same thing.  It's hard but we have two beautiful children that I love more than life itself.  Their birth mothers contacted us, kept contacting us, and then gave us the most beautiful gift in the whole world.  This is why we keep doing this.  We know that adoption is a miracle.  We can't wait to hold our next child in our arms.  We can't wait to have another birth mother and possible birth father that will always be a part of our lives.  That is why we will keep going no matter how many disappointments we have to go through.  In the end it is absolutely worth it!!!