Remembering...

In church last Sunday it was Mother's Day.  I was really excited because Ben didn't have early meetings which meant he got to help me get the kids ready for church.  What a great Mother's Day gift!!!  We got to church and Makayla looked beautiful as usual and Kyle was just the cutest, handsomest little boy.  Kyle wanted mommy that day so I was trying to hold him at the same time I was cutting some things out for primary.  Makayla wanted to help me cut because ususally I let her help me color but I told her this time I had to do it myself.  Then Kyle was crying because he wanted me.  Finally it was time for all the primary kids to go up to the stand and sing.  Makayla knew all the words to each song and I could actually hear her singing above all the other kids.  It was beautiful.  She came back down and sat with us and we both told her what a wonderful job she did.  Kyle started fussing because he was ready for his nap.  Ben leaned over to me and said, "Do you remember those past Mother's Days when you wouldn't go to church?"  Tears started welling in my eyes as I remembered past Mother's Days that it was just too hard to go to church.  Everyone else had children but not us.  It was so hard to see everyone celebrating their Mother's Day and that is what I wanted to be so much... a mother, but I couldn't.  We would think that we were getting a baby and then something would happen and instead of being a mother I just went back to being me.  It was so hard and so many tear were shed on Mother's Day.  But now it is the best day of the year.  I have two beautiful children that I love so much I can't even put it into words.  Thank you so much Makayla and Kyle for making me a mom.  I love you two with all my heart!!!